Crying
25 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?
Strength. I know when I cry it is because I have used up about all my strength and it morphs into crying. I have been so angry I have cried and so scared I have cried. Unfortunatly, I’m pretty hardened emotionally. I have my weaknesses, but emotionally I have built up a pretty thick wall.
I think people use crying to get their way, and that isnt weakness either. It is a sly manipulation. If it works and hurts noone, then hey, use it.
When someone cries about Bambi’s mother dying– that’s just human. Wow, what if you were a cute baby deer and your mom died? Those Disney movies were bad. Bambi, Nemo, Dumbo, gosh, I could probably think of more. What did that do to us when we were kids?
Love
19 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Who do you love and what are you doing about it?
I am a little confused about this question. I love my hubby, my kiddos, and mom and dad and brother…. but what am I doing ABOUT it? I’m not really sure what this means. I guess I could start being better to everyone I love. I tend to take things for granted.
Questions
18 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?
I’m a question asker. Even when I dont particularly care about the subject… You never know when you might need the useless information. Also, when talking to others-people always like to talk about themselves. That helps conversations flow well. 
Regret
17 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?
Working out. I am so sick and tired of being overweight. I gained a bunch of weight when I was pregnant with Ethan and I never lost it. I didnt gain anything with Emma though, weird huh? I am at my prepregnancy weight before Emma but still overweight, *sigh*
I worked hard on the treadmill today. I hope to be running a 5k by the end of the year. If I make progress from where I am now, I will be happy. I am so out of shape. So, I am just aiming for the goal of progress so I wont be frustrated.
Life Lesson
14 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
What life lesson did you learn the hard way?
The only bad thing about burning your bridges behind you is that the world is round. 
If I had it to do all over again, I wouldn’t burn so many bridges.
What gets you excited…
09 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
What gets you excited about life?
Change. I like change, well most of it. I like that as the kids grow older and we grow older there will be change, some good and some bad, but as things evolve I’m excited to see how it does. I like fresh things to do and fresh ideas.
I think the thing that gets me most excited about life and change is seeing how Ethan and Emma will turn out. Ethan is a bit of an enigma in the sense that he will either take the path of least resistance, or follow his dreams. I know that holds true for any child, but with Ethan dealing with Asperger’s, plus having a bit of my fortitude, he has the capacity to go far. I have to help him reign his feelings in a bit. I’m not quite sure how to do that. If/When Ethan reaches his goal of being a Avian Veterinarian (and yes I know this will probably change) he cant be yelling at clients to get out of his office if they piss him off. With Emma it is a bit too early to tell what she will be into, but she’s a smart cookie.
Although, there is a part of me, a small part, that wishes they would stay little.
Children are the world’s most valuable resource and its best hope for the future” ~JFK
06 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
I really dont like Facebook. I am strangely drawn to it, however.
I dont really care how so and so’s kid pooped in the potty for the first time, or how you had such a great time partying out with the girls last night (and the night before that–hey where are your kids?), I dont play Farmville anymore, as it got too convoluted. There are some really funny posts-and I think that is what keeps me coming back. Especially from this one guy. I dont know him. I dont think I knew him in high school-he added me for some strange reason-but I’m sure glad he did. His posts make me laugh almost on a daily basis.
My daily question is this, What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?
I think the most sensible thing I have ever heard is when my husband said he loved me for the first time. He knew a good thing when he saw it 
Comparing
04 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?
I have thought about this question a lot and I dont really compare myself to anyone. I have such low self esteem, that it might depress me further to do that.
Good Day
04 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Ethan and Derek went back to school and work respectively. It was just Emma and I at home. I was hoping to be more productive, get the whole house spotless, start my couch to 5k training, do a pedicure. I got very little done, as we played a lot today. Emma learned animal sounds, and the new one is ‘the cow goes moo’. That will take her far. Well, maybe not that far-but something new was taught by me to another little human and thats huge if you think about it. I’m really glad the holidays are over. I cooked way too much. Next year, I am going to streamline it. Noone seems to care anymore that you made them something anyway. I think I need a better neighborhood. I can dream. There was this little family that was staying across the street. I havent seen them since before Thanksgiving. Serves me right for waiting too long to go introduce myself. I hope nothing went wrong in their lives. Why is it that the crappy neighbors stick around? Everyone wants something. They never want to just hang out, they want you to give money to their kids, or money to support their motorcycle rides, or want you to do something for them. I ask nothing. Derek and I have created a little world, it is quite nice, but I just cant see asking people for all kinds of favors and not ever returning anything.
Been a long time.
02 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in hello, life, random rambling
I just can’t seem to make this blogging journaling stuff part of my day. It’s Jan 2nd and I am going to try yet again.
It has been a bad day for me. I found that I gained weight over the holidays (surprise!-ha!), which has strengthened my resolve to lose weight. Hubby and the kids have been home, which has made me crabby, as things just get all out of sorts-schedules arent adhered to, it just gets messy around here. I love them, I really do, and the weird part about THAT is that they are going back to school/work tomorrow, and I am a little sad about that. Crazy, huh? I have also resolved to clean out all the toxic people in my life. I realized that as I am doing that that I dont really have any friends I have contact with on a regular basis. I dont know how I have made it this long without taking my life. Seriously. Not that having friends makes it all better, but I have had so much toxic sh!t around me-holy crap. I just have to finish out this teacher luncheon nonsense I got myself into and then I’m home free. If another person calls me out of the blue to get their UPS delivery or watch their kid-I will scream. Do they ever reciprocate? Nope. Well, I am refocusing on Emma and Ethan, myself, our family, and keeping in contact with the few people that actually care about me. I am hoping that through new activities and interets that new people will come into my life. The PTA is a very bad thing. Very very bad. It is full of people that use you and talk behind your back. They talk about each other (even great friends!) behind their backs. I just hate it. I also dislike my church. I need to get closer to God (higher power, whatever you call it in your world) andI felt I was, then all of these red flags came up about this church. When the Pastor’s wife owes you money, it is time to bail.
On a more positive note… I am doing the couch to 5k–and I am eager to see how I do for my first day. I look forward to that.
